There’s this brief moment in a middle of a laugh or just a moment where you just feel like everything is fine. It’s when you forget all the things that tear you down, but then you feel bad for feeling good, because you learned that feeling good means to forget how bad you’ve once felt and that means surprise when you’re sad again. It just feels like I refuse to make myself happy, because it feels like depression sits always next to me, taking strokes whenever I have one of these brief moments of happiness, just waiting to take revenge because I was so silly to think it has left me.